Back and forth we went. Break up, make up, break up, make up. Until we made up. As friends. As we stayed for many years.
I moved away for 5 of those years, and throughout that time he was always the person I would call when feeling lonely. He always made me feel better and usually made me laugh my ass off. Chad was always the first person I called when I got into town and although we didn't really have common friends anymore, we were fine. Just us. And the city of Vancouver where it all began. He made me feel safe in this world because I knew, no matter what; I could always call that familiar phone number (which is still programmed in my phone, obviously) and hear his voice.
In 2001 on my 19th birthday he took me (on his trusty Honda CBR600) to a local tattoo shop. We forever inscribed the three tools that Chad needed to get through the battle that he was facing. The symbols Love - Courage - Energy. On the small of our backs.
They symbolized the important materials he would use to survive. And for me, they did and still do represent everything that Chad ever gave me. Love - Courage - Energy. That about sums it up.
Chad and I walked this world for eight years with those 3 little symbols following us. Whether we were separate or together, side by side or a country apart, we had them on us. They weren't going anywhere. Now that he is gone I sometimes feel as though I am walking this earth alone or at least that the match to my pair is missing. Thankfully, I am a lucky enough girl to be able to say that I am in a relationship that has made me feel whole enough to survive Chad's passing. Without it I don't know where I would be today.
"You said it is hard not to love me, but you are supposed to love me as I love you. The context might be different than before, but it's still love"
And he was absolutely right.....
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